Cough, cough

It’s been a couple of weeks since my last blog post. That’s because reality decided to reassert itself in my life and I’ve been reminded quite forcibly that I am, in fact, ill. I never seem to notice when my health has been good until afterwards when it goes bad again and then while I am stuck in bed I realise that I’ve been out of bed quite a lot in the preceding few weeks. I’ve acquired a cold and a cough that has now turned into a painful chest infection. The result is that I have spent the majority of my time in bed for the last two weeks and my days are punctuated by fits of coughing that leave me seriously dazed afterwards. I visited the doctor today and started antibiotics so hopefully it will clear up soon.

I haven’t been completely inactive though. I’ve visited my doctor, which is a fairly big effort in itself for me. I have had quite a few phone calls with my solicitor dealing with aspects of my case against the DWP, and been sent mountains of documents to read to do with that. I have been to my first parish council meeting as a councillor, and managed to get drafted onto the planning committee and been to a meeting of that too. (Not actually as much work as it sounds.) I have even managed a few hours of computer gaming recently, something which I haven’t been able to face much while my mental health has been bad. The majority of my time though has been spent trying to stay awake but not really managing to do much more than slump in bed and stare at twitter, too tired to even tweet much compared to a few weeks ago.

And on top of that, I’ve been sent an ESA50 form – Limited capability for work questionnaire. It had to happen eventually, it’s been nearly two years since my last work capability assessment. The form arrived a couple of weeks ago and I think I subconsciously chose to bury it under a mess of paperwork so that I didn’t have to think about it. Unfortunately that means that I haven’t got very long left to go through the soul-destroying process of filling it in. I had better drug myself up and go and get on with it instead of procrastinating through blogging.

Pain pain pain

Last night was a bad night. I had a little less than three hours of sleep and  by 7am my pain levels were high. Not so high as to have me curled up whimpering and shaking as sometimes happens, or enough to make me cry out, but enough to ensure that I definitely couldn’t go back to sleep and found it hard to concentrate on anything else.

It’s my feet that hurt the most today. Specifically, the tops of my feet which are aching horribly, as are my fingers and the backs of my hands. My arms hurt too, with the aching seeming to branch out from my hands and shoulders into the arms. Strangely, my elbows don’t hurt.  My legs feel like I’ve been beaten up or possibly run over, which is about normal for me but with some extra cramp and shooting pains in my calf muscles. The cramp occasionally stabs at the underside of my feet too. Now that I’m typing I realise that the muscles in my thumbs hurt quite a lot. My usual constant headache might be in the mix somewhere but it’s been masked by more pressing pain elsewhere. Over the last few minutes a familiar burning pain has overtaken the aching and started to spread through my body. It’s the burning that makes me curl up and wish to die, to scream in pain. I desperately hope that it stops before that point. Back in early 2011 I had the burning all the time and I had to take pregabalin (Lyrica) to control it. I didn’t enjoy either part of that experience.

I have had drugs to try and help, of course. At 7am I had 500mg Naproxen, 1g Paracetamol and 30mg codeine. It made no difference that I can tell. I could take more codeine but the result will be that I can’t think and get really drowsy but lie awake in a nauseous opiate haze without actually sleeping. I have distracted myself through the last hour by re-watching episodes of The IT Crowd but my concentration is slipping now and I’ve turned it off.

I get pain most days although not to this extent. The pain has always been put down to my diagnosis of M.E. with the more recent burning possibly being diabetic neuropathy but while it’s a name for it, it doesn’t actually explain what’s causing the pain. It’s just labelled and then ignored. Maybe if I knew why I was in pain it would be easier to accept. I know lots of other people who have similar experiences so I don’t really know why I’m writing this other than to have a moan. Maybe that’s enough of a reason.

Lessons from a troll

My experiences in the last couple of days have highlighted a few things.

It is hard to tell the different between someone who is saying things just to provoke you (a troll) and someone who genuinely believes what they are saying and is trying to convince you. Sometimes they believe what they are saying but are still trying to provoke a reaction for their own amusement. Indigo Jo Blogs sets out a case that this kind of trolling is simply bullying in RIP trolling isn’t the worst kind. Some people are of the opinion that telling people with M.E. that their illness isn’t real and that they don’t deserve help is actually gaslighting – a form of abuse through making people doubt their own minds. This kind of approach seems common in politics as Lisa Ansell wrote in Trolling as political debate.

Many on the right of politics believe that welfare should not exist. Instead they believe that individuals should have savings and pay for their own insurance privately to cover them against unemployment and being unable to work through illness and disability, and for healthcare. The problems with this approach are many but it seems impossible to convince proponents of the idea that it will lead to suffering and homelessness, or perhaps they just don’t care about that.

There is still a big problem with people believing that ME and Fibromyalgia are somehow not real or are minor or trivial. This has been fuelled by articles and blog posts from tabloid papers. Both are defined as neurological physical diseases by the World Health Organisation but this is irrelevant in deciding if they are real anyway – even if they were caused by mental health problems at the core they would still be just as disabling. It is an absurd suggestion that anyone would want M.E. or would voluntarily stay in bed for most or all of the day, every day, in isolation, or voluntarily use a wheelchair or a walking stick all the time when going out. These would be stupid things to inflict on yourself for the benefits available, if you even manage to get them.

Some people seem to believe that if they can work through their illness or disability then anyone who does not work must simply not be trying hard enough. They seem to have no understanding that the amount a person is affected by a particular health problem can vary massively between different people and different problems. It seems inconceivable to them that an invisible illness could be more disabling in its effects than a cancer or surgery of some sort. They think that particular health problems, like cancer and chemotherapy treatment, are the ultimate in human suffering and that nothing else can be worse. I know a few people on chemotherapy and I know that it is a horrific experience, but it isn’t the only thing that can make someone so sick – especially if someone is on a low dose.

I captured some of what was said to me recently using Storify, embedded here. (Click here if it doesn’t show below after a few seconds.) Warning, it does contain strong swearing on my part where I got too frustrated to hold back.

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DLA Story

I’ve been sick for more than a decade. I have struggled to keep working for as much of that as I can, even starting my own computer maintenance business, but I have spent a lot of time unable to work. A few years ago I claimed Disability Living Allowance as I had mobility problems and needed care. I was initially turned down and although I eventually won on appeal the process took more than a year.

That was awarded for two years from the date that I first applied and so it soon ran out and required a fresh application. Unfortunately I was too ill to face completing the fifty page form, collecting medical evidence and going through the medical check again and since I was working, I let it go despite being entitled to it.

In August 2010 I became seriously ill once again and eventually in October 2011 I accepted that I wasn’t going to improve any time soon and so I applied for DLA again. This time I received help from the Worcester branch of the DIAL network who asked me questions and filled in my forms for me. The process was still long and exhausting but at least it got done. A few days ago I heard that I had been awarded DLA with a high rate mobility allowance and middle rate care allowance for a period of five years. I was taken by surprise about this as other people with M.E. often have to take their application to appeal.

DLA will make a huge difference to my life. The first thing I did was use the 17 weeks of backdated DLA to pay off my credit card, which had been racking up debt because of the extra costs of living with my illness. Last week I ordered a car from the Motability scheme, which I will pay for by handing over all of my DLA mobility allowance – about £50 per week – for the duration of the three year lease. Having a car will mean that I can leave the house – which I rarely leave at all apart from to go to medical appointments – and I will be able to go shopping with my wife, collect my own medicines from the pharmacy, visit the doctor and the hospital without having to take my father out of work to drive me there, and visit friends who I can only talk to over the telephone or internet at the moment. This car will open up a whole new life for me.

In addition to the car my DLA will pay for things like pre-prepared food that I can access when my wife is unable to be at home to care for me, and to cover the costs of the more expensive specific foods that I need if I am to keep my meals down. It will also pay for extra energy costs for the hot baths that I need to get some pain relief in my aching burning muscles, and air conditioning when the summer heat makes me so ill that I collapse.

In short, my DLA will be life-changing. The government’s plans to replace it under the welfare reform bill and cut 20% of the cost by withholding it from people that desperately need it are a dangerous and heartless thing. Please, sign the petition to pause the welfare reform bill.

Reply from PCC about Rod Liddle on fibromyalgia and ME

A few weeks ago I made a complaint to the Press Complaint Commission about a blog post written on The Spectator website by Rod Liddle. (Blog posts are covered if on a website of a print publication.) He asserted that fibromyalgia

“is another one of those imaginary afflictions claimed by malingering mentals.”

He went on to say

Things Which Definitely Are Not Illnesses or Diseases: 

Fibromyalgia
Addiction to alcohol
Addiction to drugs
Obesity
Being a bit odd
M.E.
Hepatitis contracted when behaving in an inappropriate manner
Stress
Wearing spectacles
Addiction to sex

This is the complaint that I sent in to the Press Complaints Commission. (And I must thank them for providing me with a copy as I had lost mine.)

Explanation : The article breaches the code of practice as it is inaccurate and misleading.

The article lists Fibromyalgia and M.E. under the heading “Things Which Definitely Are Not Illnesses or Diseases”

It is factually incorrect to state that these are not illnesses. Fibromyalgia is listed in the World Health Organisation’s Internationa l Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems under M79 Other soft tissue disorders, not elsewhere classified, as M79.7, Fibromyalgia. Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (M.E.) is listed under G93 Other disorders of the nervous system as G93.3 Postviral fatigue syndrome – Benign myalgic encephalomyelitis.

The article states “[Fibromyalgia] is another one of those imaginary afflictions claimed by malingering mentals.”

The author has no grounds to claim that fibromyalgia is imaginary, as it recognised as a real physical illness by the WHO. He also has no grounds to use the phrase “malingering mentals.” Fibromyalgia is not a mental illness, and even if it were, a mental illness is a real illness and is not “malingering.” This phrase is incorrect and is disablist hate speech. The errors in this article contribute directly to hate crime, abuse, and verbal abuse against sick and disabled people, of which there has been a significant increase in rece nt months. (As reported by Scope at http://www.scope.org.uk/news/matthew-parris-and-times)

Clauses : The article breaches clause 1 part 1 of the code of practice.
i) The Press must take care not to publish inaccurate, misleading or distorted information, including pictures.

And here is their response.

Commission’s decision in the case of

Various v The Spectator 

The complainants considered that an article that stated that Fibromyalgia (FM) was not a real illness and that sufferers were “malingering mentals” was inaccurate and discriminatory.

The Commission acknowledged that the article was controversial and that many readers would not agree with its content, however, it made clear that columnists are entitled to express their personal views and comments, provided they are clearly distinguished from fact. It noted that the column was written in the first person and as such, the views expressed were clearly attributable to the columnist.

The Commission considered first the complaint under Clause 1 (Accuracy) of the Code. The Commission acknowledged that the complainants considered that the article’s reference to the columnist being a doctor and the statement that Fibromyalgia (FM) and other recognised diseases were not “real” was inaccurate. The Commission considered that readers in general would understand that the reference to the columnist being a doctor was intended to be a facetious reference rather than a statement of fact that he was a qualified medical practitioner. As such they would not be misled. Furthermore, the Commission considered that the categorization of the illnesses clearly represented the columnist’s opinion on the conditions – indeed he clearly qualified his views on Fibromyalgia by asserting he “may be wrong”. The Commission considered that readers would understand that it reflected the personal, albeit caustic views of the columnist and would not be misled by the article; as such it did not establish a breach of Clause 1 (Accuracy) of the Code.

The Commission then turned to the alleged breach of Clause 12 (Discrimination) of the Code. It appreciated the reasons why the complainants considered the article was distasteful and prejudicial and acknowledged that many readers would take offence at the article; however this did not render a breach of Clause 12. The Commission made clear that under Clause 12 (i), newspapers must avoid prejudicial or pejorative reference to an individual’s physical or mental illness or disability; the clause does not cover references to groups or categories of people. In this instance, the article did not make reference to the physical or mental illness or disability of a particular individual but rather referred to Fibromyalgia sufferers in general. While the Commission understood the concerns raised by the complainants, it did not establish that Clause 12 (i) of the Code had been breached.

Finally, the Commission considered the complainants’ concerns that the magazine published offensive material. It acknowledged that the complainants found the article highly offensive; however, it made clear that the terms of the Editors’ Code of Practice do not address issues of taste and offence. The Code is designed to address the potentially competing rights of freedom of expression and other rights of individuals, such as privacy. Newspapers and magazines have editorial freedom to publish what they consider to be appropriate provided that the rights of individuals – enshrined in the terms of the Code which specifically defines and protects these rights – are not compromised.  To come to an inevitably subjective judgement as to whether such material is tasteless or offensive would amount to the Commission acting as a moral arbiter, which can lead to censorship. It could not, therefore, comment on this aspect of the complaint further.

 

Mental ME

I have depression. I get stuck in a spiral of negative thoughts until I reach the point of wanting to die. It happens often, and has been going on for about a year. A few months ago I asked my GP to refer me to a mental health team for more in-depth help as anti-depressants alone were not working.  My GP wrote to the mental health team asking for help with my suicidal thoughts, and she listed some of my circumstances too – imminent homelessness, massive housing benefit screw-up, and suffering from ME and lots of other diseases.

The three times that I have seen a psychiatrist have been rubbish. I talked about that in a previous blog post. Basically, the psychiatrist focussed on my fatigue and would talk about nothing else. I even said to him “I’ve had M.E. for eleven years and know how to manage it, but I really need to know how to stop the loops of negative thought and the suicidal thoughts.” I was ignored. He decided to treat my fatigue by giving me amitriptyline, which is the first drug used in cases of M.E. even though I have tried many similar drugs over the years to no effect. Amitriptyline caused me to lose two entire weeks because it made me sleep all day every day, so I cut it down and then stopped it.

I went back to my GP to find an alternative to this useless psychiatrist. She gave me a copy of the letter that he had sent to her. Here is what it says:

Diagnosis: Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Current Mental State/Progress:
Unchanged, symptoms of fatigue.

Risk profile (+Crisis Plan if applicable):
Nil.

There is no mention of the periods of despair, the suicidal thoughts, the risk to myself that my GP had told them about. Just a diagnosis of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I have pointed out on this blog many times before that my illness is ME/CFS which is a physical condition. As such, my psychiatrist has no business writing CFS as my diagnosis for my mental health problems because it’s not a mental health problem.

I had a bit of a freak out this morning because I suddenly realised that this psychiatrist will be asked about my condition for my application for Disability Living Allowance. That could be disastrous if he tells them his version of what is wrong with me rather than my official diagnosis of M.E. by the neurologist that I saw years ago. However, after panicking for a few hours I have managed to call the mental health hospital and explain my problem. The manager there was extremely helpful and nice about it. My next appointment there will be with the Consultant Psychiatrist who is in charge rather than the idiot that I have previously seen, and because my DLA claim is imminent I will be called in earlier if there are any cancellations. She has also made a note that they must see me before replying to any letters about my DLA claim.

Hopefully that’s one less thing to worry about. The last thing I need is clueless doctors making my life even more stressful.

Invisible illness and irrational hatred

 

Living with an invisible illness often means being under constant suspicion of being workshy and a malingerer, and of committing benefit fraud. Ignorant people often attribute physical but invisible illness to mental health problems, and then claim that they are not real problems. This is usually wrong on two counts, since not only are many of those illnesses not mental health problems, but mental health problems can be just as real and disabling as any physical problem.

Unfortunately some of these ignorant people have a platform to spread their ignorance and hatred through. One such person is Rod Liddle, who writes in The Spectator. After being contacted by the Fibromyalgia Society he launched an attack on the disease, saying that  ”it is another one of those imaginary afflictions claimed by malingering mentals.” He went on to present a list of “Things Which Definitely Are Not Illnesses or Diseases and included Fibromyalgia and M.E. in that list. I have complained to the Press Complaints Commission about this article, and this is the text of my complaint.

 

 The article breaches clause 1 part 1 of the code of practice.
i) The Press must take care not to publish inaccurate, misleading or distorted information, including pictures.

The article breaches the code of practice as it is inaccurate and misleading.

The article lists Fibromyalgia and M.E. under the heading “Things Which Definitely Are Not Illnesses or Diseases”

It is factually incorrect to state that these are not illnesses. Fibromyalgia is listed in the World Health Organisation’s International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems under M79 Other soft tissue disorders, not elsewhere classified, as M79.7, Fibromyalgia. Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (M.E.) is listed under G93 Other disorders of the nervous system as G93.3 Postviral fatigue syndrome – Benign myalgic encephalomyelitis.

The article states “[Fibromyalgia] is another one of those imaginary afflictions claimed by malingering mentals.”

The author has no grounds to claim that fibromyalgia is imaginary, as it recognised as a real physical illness by the WHO. He also has no grounds to use the phrase “malingering mentals.” Fibromyalgia is not a mental illness, and even if it were, a mental illness is a real illness and is not “malingering.” This phrase is incorrect and is disablist hate speech. The errors in this article contribute directly to hate crime, abuse, and verbal abuse against sick and disabled people, of which there has been a significant increase in recent months. (As reported by Scope at http://www.scope.org.uk/news/matthew-parris-and-times)

 

I have saved a Freezepage copy of the offending article in case it disapears.

http://www.freezepage.com/1317921668VVYABLRSUZ

You can make your own complaint to the PCC on their website.

http://www.pcc.org.uk/complaints/process.html

I recommend this interesting blog post on the different reactions to visible and invisible illness.

http://e-s-d.deviantart.com/journal/35186426/

 

Aaaarrrrrggggghhhhh

I’m struggling quite a lot at the moment. I’ve recently started Amitriptyline, as well as increasing my Escitalopram, and for the first week I basically slept all the time. I’m still getting bouts of despair and severe depression, and spending a lot of time stuck in bed. Pain is down but dizziness, brain fog and problems walking are up. One of the casualties of all this has been my ability to write in detail about the subjects that I want to. Actually focussing on the detail is a massive problem. I can chat online, but I can’t write proper blog posts.

Some of the things that I really want to write about but can’t include:

  • The possible causes of ME, viral and mental, and the research into them.
  • Visiting a psychiatrist who believes my ME is a mental disease, and asking how I’m supposed to get my depression fixed without my ME being made worse by this idiot.
  • The Welfare Reform bill and the Health and Social Care bill, the problems, and how to fight them.
  • Being accurate in activism; not spreading rumours, and avoiding exaggeration.
  • How the Left and the Right stifle each others speech, or not. (I’ve written this, but can’t finish editing it and write the conclusion.)
  • Report on my experience at an Atos Work Capability Assessment, and Professor Harrington’s latest antics in policing them. (I was declared unfit to work, if you didn’t know.)
  • Discuss human rights.
  • Basing government policy on actual evidence instead of ideology and greed.
Those are just the ones I started writing, never mind the other ones that I haven’t attempted yet. For now, though, blog posts only come out when something prompts my mind to focus enough on one topic so that I HAVE to get the words written.

Managing ME

People often assume that medicine can cure M.E, or at least keep it under control. Unfortunately, they are wrong. While I can and do take many medicines to treat pain, insomnia and other symptoms, none of them will cure me or help me keep the fatigue at bay. The main symptom of M.E. for most people is Chronic Fatigue. The World Health Organisation says of this:

“Chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) is a clinical diagnosis characterized by an unexplained persistent or relapsing chronic fatigue that is of at least six months’ duration, is not the result of ongoing exertion, is not substantially alleviated by rest, and results in substantial reduction of previous levels of occupational, educational, social, or personal activities.”

The important parts to note here are “not alleviated by rest” and “not the result of ongoing exertion”. The result of this is that when someone suffering with M.E. tries to do something important – such as going for a compulsory interview at the job centre – there will be a payback for that activity which will cause them a disproportionate amount of fatigue as well as many other symptoms that they might suffer from. The payback may not hit straight away, or there might be several stages to it, and it can last for days or weeks. Stress often has the same effect as physical activity, and can result in the same payback.

I have found only one successful way to alleviate these problems and keep the fatigue at bay, and that is pacing. When I was a patient at the M.E. clinic at Oldchurch Hospital back in 2005, pacing was the most important thing that they taught me, and in fact getting pacing right was the bulk of my treatment there. Pacing played a large part in getting me back into work at the end of 2006.  Now that I have had a serious relapse and have been well and truly in the “severe M.E.” category for a few months, I need to re-introduce pacing so that I can have some chance of getting my illness under control again. In fact, I should never have stopped pacing at all. For most sufferers, M.E. never really goes away, and without careful management it will strike back with a vengeance.

What is Pacing?

“Pacing is a technique used by many people with M.E. Pacing is about learning what activities your body will tolerate or cope with, without causing a relapse or a set back. It’s about taking a positive attitude to your recovery but discovering and recognising your limitations.” (Definition from action 4 me)

“Pacing is sometimes called adaptive pacing therapy (APT). Pacing is a strategy in which people with CFS/ME are encouraged to achieve a balance between rest and activity. This usually involves living within the limitations caused by the illness, but having some limited types of activity alternating with periods of rest.” (Definition from patient.co.uk)

The most important part of pacing is getting the right amount of rest. The M.E. clinic helped me divide my day into short periods of rest and activity. Every one to three hours of activity would be followed by half an hour of rest. Rest, in people with M.E. meaning lying still, not looking at anything or listening to anything that requires thought, and preferably not thinking about anything. Reading, television, radio and thinking can all be tiring to someone with M.E. Hell, I list sitting on the sofa quietly as an activity, not a rest! Not only that, but I was told not to sleep during rests. Sleeping in the day makes it harder to sleep properly at night. In my case I take a long time to wake up and recover from sleeping no matter when it is, so I definitely want to avoid sleeping in the day. To help me with my resting (and getting to sleep) I was taught breathing exercises and relaxation techniques that calm the mind down.

Some suggestions for achieving relaxation, taken from my hospital notes:

  • Soft, ambient music
  • Guided relaxation techniques such as:
    • Visualisation or guided imagery
    • Progressive or physical relaxation
    • Autogenic techniques
  • Diaphragmatic breathing
  • Warm bath/aromatherapy
  • Meditation

I was told to position myself very carefully so as to support all my limbs and joints for maximum rest. Here are some examples from the notes that they gave me. Note that everything is supported with pillows or cushions. That makes things hard for someone like me who can get very restless and want to change position a lot.

Rest position: crook lying

Crook lying

Rest position: side lying

Side lying

Rest position: long sitting

Long sitting

These are the techniques that I must start using again.

  • Limit each activity to an amount I can deal with without pushing through
  • Rest after each activity
  • Adopt relaxing positions while resting
  • Use breathing and relaxation techniques to clear my mind
  • Not sleep in the day
  • Try not to get so obsessed with anything that I spend too long on it at once
Because I have very little self control, I have made a new timetable which includes appropriate length activity and rest periods. I’m rubbish at stopping for rests, so I have put four rests into my day but it might have to be more. It is important for me that I stick to the timetable as closely as possible since I have a tendency to get absorbed in things and suddenly notice that I have been going for 16 hours and am now dead. (Probably.) The idea is that I smooth out the level of activity to make every day contain the same amount, but the timetable will have to be flexible to some extent because some days I might not be able to achieve even that level of activity. I might have to move getting dressed to later in the day, for example, or take an extra rest.
An example weekly plan for an ME patient

An example weekly plan for an ME patient

Once I have found a baseline of activity that I can keep up I can then experiment with slowly adding more activity and introducing exercise in to my routine. I need to build up the pace slowly and carefully, never pushing too far and causing relapse, but not letting myself slack either. Keeping going and not going too fast are both very important. I was taught all of this in 2005, and with the help of all of these techniques I was able to slowly regain enough control over my body to go back to work at the end of 2006. I was lucky though; many people are not able to regain that much of their health even when they are perfect at pacing. And ultimately, I got lazy and let the pacing slip. If I had still been keeping up a (less strict) regime of rests while working I might not have got quite so ill this time round.

Bust and boom, a spoonie tale

Yes, I know that the title has the phrase the wrong way around. But bust and boom perfectly describes what has happened to me in the last few hours.

Last night after dinner and watching Doctor Who my wife and I decided that we wanted cheesecake for desert. The nearest cheesecake was at the co-op which is about half a mile away from us. My wife asked me if I wanted to come out for the walk to go and get the desert. I stood up, stretched, checked whether I was able to stand without wobbling and walk without hurting, and said yes. I regretted it almost immediately, with pain in my left leg and foot, and I was putting weight on my stick from the start. After a short distance I had to stop and lean against a lamp post for a minute while I waited for pain to go down and dizziness to stop. A bit further and we started to go uphill. I was using my stick to push me uphill and was leaning on the hand that my wife was holding too. I was dizzy and out of breath, I had pain coursing through my feet, my legs, my arms, back, shoulders, neck and probably other bits if I thought about it. At the top of the hill was a low wall. I sat on it. I couldn’t move for fifteen minutes.

Having sent my wife on without me to get the cheesecake and waited for her return, I managed to stand up (just about) and stagger home, held upright by my wife and leaning heavily on my stick. On getting home I collapsed in bed, ate a slice of cheesecake, looked at twitter, and then promptly passed out. When my wife came to bed at 9:30 I took my medicine and went back to sleep. Although I woke up for a few minutes after midnight, I slept the whole night through and woke up shortly before 5am feeling pretty good! I amused myself with twitter, trying to stay in bed a bit longer until the rest of the world woke up. Sometime around 6am my wife woke up too, and she helped me fill up my medicine tray for the week. That was actually a fairly interesting half hour, as I talked her through the medicines I take and what they are all for. The only problem is that while distracted by talking about my medicines I accidentally took two doses of paracetamol. We checked up on it, and apparently the toxic dose for my body mass is 16g and I took 2g so I am not too worried about it.

Since I was obviously feeling quite well this morning I suggested that we go out for breakfast. This time although I was using my stick I wasn’t leaning on it that much. We walked all the way up to the pub, about the same distance as the co-op, with only one pause to sit on a bench halfway there. So now I am sitting in the pub writing this on my netbook. My wife has gone off to church, and I’m writing, websurfing and drinking coffee, and not feeling too bad. Which almost makes up for my disastrous walk last night.

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