About

I am Ellavescent. Until recently I was Latentexistence but I have outgrown that name.

I am sick and disabled, autistic, transgender.

I have a mitochondrial mutation 3243A>G which causes mitochondrial myopathy, fatigue, exercise intolerance, diabetes, migraines, RLS, depression, and many more symptoms. My life at the moment is largely pain and fatigue and not getting out much (apart from to hospitals) and so the internet is my lifeline. I write about my experience of illness and disability and of being transgender so that others might understand it.

This blog is my own personal blog and contains my observations and opinions. When commenting on events I try to include references and links wherever possible. Don’t just take my word on things, check the evidence and think for yourself!

Despite the concerted effort by my illness to stop me I have a degree in computer science. I used to ride a Yamaha Diversion 900 motorbike and I don’t like cars but my illness has forced me to use one. I use an electric wheelchair when I’m out. Before I got worse in 2010, my father and I ran an IT company which I set up because the unpredictable nature of my illness makes me virtually unemployable by anyone else and life on government benefits is not a pleasant experience.

  • Garraelius

    Nice to meet you Dave (Albeit in a vrtual realm), you seem like a stand up sort of guy. Its nice to see someone who has the mettle to take life by the horns and rag it about no matter what its prepared to throw at you. I wish you all the best and am sure that one day in the not too distant future, there will be a cure found for your ailments and your latent expectations will be fulfilled, sending you on to do great things. Strength brother 🙂

  • Jake Sharman

    I  became a freelance writer because I got tired of my bipolar disorder costing me employment. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do my job; I could. It was that I *had* to be at work by 8 AM no matter what and I *had* to leave the house each day no matter what and I *had* to interact face-to-face with people no matter what. I am a writer; those things were the trappings of office work, not the necessities of my job. For the past 12 years (not including one year off being crazy manic and another year off recovering from complete total loss of everything), I’ve successfully earned a living from my computer at home. As I type this, I am recovering from a mixed episode followed by some serious depression. No, I didn’t get dressed like I should or brush my hair. Yes, I cried every time I allowed any emotional stimulus to come my way. No, I haven’t left my house in 8 days. Yes, I did (or not) all of the things that come with being in an episode, but I also met my all of writing responsibilities, setting my schedule to adapt to my condition. Had I been in an office based job, I’d have been sacked or at least yelled at a lot.

    I do not agree with everything you write; I will admit that up front. I am too harsh a judge when it comes to disability and work and I know it. That being said, I also realise that not everyone is lucky enough to have a skill that they can translate into meaningful employment which works around whatever debilitation they might have.

    Anyway, I wanted to introduce myself. As usual, I’ve gone all long winded. If we end up in any sort of long-term dialogue, you’ll discover that I tend to say things using more words than some might think necessary. But then, it is my love for words that made me a writer. : )

  • Bridgetdprice

    I loved day of the tentacle! Then discworld.
    Have had ME for 39 years. Depression oscillates.                 
    Escitalopram good. Very dubious about amitriptyline.
    Sorry you life is not on hold, you are not going to emerge from a chrysalis. You have to manage in larval form.
    Do not push to be normal. Be kind and gentle to youself.
    It is crap!  But you are a caterpillar and if you try to fly like a butterfly you will plumet to the ground and end up in bed, in pain.
     It seems your parasympathetic nervous system is damaged and the best you can do is learn to stop the sympathetic nervous system pumping you up and starting the adrenalin cortisol cascade because you no longer have the means to reign them in once started. When they get going free rein huge amounts of damage are done. (If you want a ‘day off” ecstasy seems to work a treat but almost certainly not a good plan for very often, quite apart from legality, although tests using it are being done on a cohort of gulf war veterans in America).

  • MEfly Slowly

    Thank you, I had started to put together my own site because I had problems with the more commonly used light backgrounds and dark fonts.

    I see you have opted for the same template schemes I have. Thank you, my eyes are cooler the minute I click yr link.

     I don’t know if you are aware but there is a really good Facebook gadget that helps you do the same thing to Facebook, 

    anyway heres the link I hope you find it as useful as I have. http://socialfixer.com/