Broken

Not enough sleep. Out of bed, showered, dressed, collapsed.

Nothing new here then.

Sitting here at my desk, feeling the weight of crushing fatigue literally forcing me down on to my desk. My brain in a weird state where I can’t think properly, can’t complete half of my thoughts, can’t finish spoken sentences and yet I can type my thoughts here at only a slightly reduced pace. I am not coherent enough for proper work, yet can still sit here fiddling with WordPress. Am I achieving something? Who knows. Perhaps I should be compared to a drunken programmer on a Friday night, typing rubbish yet thinking it perfect.

I should go back to bed but in this state I won’t sleep, merely toss and turn.

So I sit here at my computer, too zoned out to engage with the world. No concentration. Too broken to work, too broken to sleep.

M.E. and CFS

Fucking up my world since 2000.

Author: Latentexistence

The world is broken and I can't fix it because I am broken. I can, however, rant about it all and this is where I do that when I can get my thoughts together. Most of the time you'll find my words on Twitter rather than here though. I sometimes write for Where's The Benefit too.

2 thoughts on “Broken”

  1. I’m impressed that you are out of bed, showered and dressed, even that can use up too much energy on bad days. I know how you feel, tired and brain fogged but still wanting to do something. Very frustrating.

    1. Getting up did use up too much energy. I did it anyway, out of some optimistic idea that despite feeling crap at the time, I would still get to the office this afternoon.

      Instead I will be having a bath to try to relax, then trying to focus enough to read a book to pass the time.

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