Stop it

Fear
Despair
Crowding through my broken brain,
pushing and shoving the good thoughts away.

“Stop it!” I shout,
but I take no notice of myself.

Thoughts gone,
pushed out by gloom.
Body frozen in place
Cowering from the onslaught of worries.

The unpaid bills
the diabetes that just gets worse
the fear of benefits being refused
All giants advancing on me
ten feet tall, now a hundred.
Run! Except I can’t.

My body gives in, moving at a glacial pace
and hides, in the only place that seems safe.
In bed, curled up under the duvet
shaking
sobbing.

I want it to stop
I want to sleep and never wake up
Desperate to leave this all behind
but sleep never comes.

And so I lay here
Mind broken
Hoping for oblivion to take me away.